Trauma Healing: How to Recover from Emotional Wounds

 Trauma Healing: How to Recover from Emotional Wounds

The effects of trauma are not necessarily visible and consist of an internal imprint on the thoughts, emotions, and soul. Trauma creates emotional pain, which can influence relationships, the way we think about ourselves, our mental and emotional well-being, and how we function every day. Most people in the world carry with them unresolved emotional pain and do not recognize the effects that pain has on their lives or their ability to heal.

The good news is that healing is possible.

This comprehensive article on trauma explains the various aspects of trauma with compassion and understanding, as well as how trauma may impact you, and some practical steps for beginning to heal from trauma. If you are on your healing journey or assisting another person in their healing journey from trauma, this article provides information about how to take the first steps towards healing.

Table of Contents

1. What Is Emotional Trauma?

2. Types of Trauma

3. How Trauma Affects the Brain and Body

4. Common Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma

5. Why Trauma Healing Is Not Linear

6. The Foundations of Trauma Recovery

7. Evidence-Based Approaches to Healing

8. Holistic and Somatic Healing Practices

9. Rebuilding Identity After Trauma

10. Trauma in Relationships: Attachment, Trust, and Boundaries

11. How to Support Someone Healing from Trauma

12. How to Know When You’re Healing

13. Final Thoughts: Choosing Yourself Again

1. What Is Emotional Trauma?

Emotional trauma arises when someone experiences something so distressful or threatening, that it creates a psychological, emotional, and physical reaction to it. In contrast to everyday stresses, trauma takes away your ability to cope and causes you to feel unsafe or helpless or disconnected.

Experiencing trauma isn’t solely based on an event that occurs in someone’s life; it is also based on how someone processed the experience internally.

When two people experience the same traumatic event (same experience), it does not necessarily mean that one person is “weaker” than the other; the trauma, in this case, is a result of the nervous system responding to an overwhelming experience, not because of something that they did or didn’t do.

Examples of situations where traumatic experiences can occur: 

Abuse: emotional, physical, sexual, psychological

Childhood neglect

Accidents/Medical Procedures

Betrayal/Abandonment

Loss of a Loved One

Natural Disasters

Toxic Relationships

Witnessing violence

Life Changing Events

Pandemic/War/Cultural Oppression

The impact of trauma often lasts long beyond the event itself and changes the way that information is stored in memory in the brain, how a body reacts to stress and how an individual perceives the way in which they feel safe or connected.

2. Types of Trauma

Trauma has several forms. The different types of trauma can help you identify and address your healing needs.

Acute Trauma: This is a result of a single event, such as an accident, assault, or loss.

Chronic Trauma: This is created by the accumulation of repeated events, such as long-term abuse, bullying, longstanding disease, or a person's continuing unsafe situation.

Complex Trauma: This is often from childhood, and it is a result of multiple long-term, or personal trauma(s), such as a child growing up in an unstable home, having an emotionally neglectful parent, or being raised with a parent who is chronically unable to provide a safe home.

Developmental Trauma: Developmental trauma occurs during childhood, and this trauma disrupts emotional development and attachment, as well as identity development.

Relational Trauma: Relational trauma can occur in significant relationships(Family, Love, and Friends). Relationship trauma may also be caused by trust issues(Cheating, Abandonment), manipulation, or inconsistency.

Secondary or Vicarious trauma: Secondary trauma originates from witnessing , or by providing support to those who are experiencing trauma(Healthcare Workers, First responders, and Partners of Traumatized People).

Knowing what type of trauma you have helps to explain your healing experience, the triggers that are unique to you, and to help you understand how the wounds related to your trauma(s) may feel different from each other.

3. How Trauma Affects the Brain and Body

Trauma affects not only the mind but also reshapes the brain and body.

The impact of trauma on the brain.

The amygdala is hyperactive, constantly detecting threats. As a result, individuals who have experienced trauma tend to experience increased anxiety, panic, hyper-vigilance, and exaggerated startle responses (smoke alarm).

The hippocampus may shrink or become dysregulated. Trauma memories often exist as non-linear fragments and can feel either vivid and intrusive, depending on the individual.

The prefrontal cortex shuts down when threatened, causing difficulties with thinking clearly, regulating emotions, and creating effective decisions.

As a result, many trauma survivors find themselves feeling stuck, over-reactive, or overwhelmed.

The impact of trauma on the body.

Trauma is not only stored in the brain; it is also stored in the body through the nervous system and muscles.

Common physiological responses (how we physically experience trauma):

Chronic tension and/or pain

Problems sleeping

Problems with the digestive system (gut)

Headaches

Problems regulating hormones (hormonal imbalance)

Fatigue and/or restlessness

Changes in eating patterns

When individuals feel disconnected from their body, they are experiencing the "body keeps the score" of trauma until they feel safe enough to release the energy stored within them.

4. Common Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma

While everyone experiences the effects of trauma in varying ways, many survivors of trauma may experience the following:

- Anxiety or panic attacks

- Feelings of emptiness or depression

- Flashbacks/intrusive memories

- Dissociation/numbness

- Fear of abandonment

- Overthinking/hyper-vigilance

- Trust issues

- People-pleaser/perfectionist mentality

- Difficulty establishing boundaries

- Emotional reactivity

- Low self-esteem

- Difficulty forming connections with others

- Avoidance of anything that reminds one of the trauma

- Feeling stuck/disconnected

These are all normal reactions to abnormal situations and indicate that the individual has been injured rather than identifying with these symptoms.

5. Why Trauma Healing Is Not Linear

Your healing will not typically occur in a straight line but rather in a circular or spiral pattern; as you continue to grow, you will return to previous thoughts, memories, feelings or experiences, but not always at the same level. You may experience some level of healing or progress at times, then have setbacks or even regress. Also, you might have a great deal of emotional upheaval from the memories of a lost loved one's passing or from the triggering of other memories by recent events, or you could become very tired emotionally or mentally because of all this work (healing). Sometimes, seemingly without warning, a memory or event can trigger memories related to that time. And when you reach a "breakthrough", that is, an improved and better way of looking at things, your healing is complete.

Healing can be messy and sometimes difficult; yet, it is also a courageous act of taking responsibility for yourself. Taking responsibility for your problems can lead to a sense of empowerment and inner strength.

And finally, just because you are on a healing journey does not mean that you are in a failure.

You are not in a failure. You are a living human being.

6. The Foundations of Trauma Recovery

The first stage of healing is based on five core foundations of recovery. Without these essential foundations, it can be difficult to heal deeply and wholly.

1. Safety It is important for your nervous system to know "I am safe now". To ensure that you feel safe and secure, you should: create stable routines; eliminate chaos; leave toxic environments; develop emotional predictability; practice grounding techniques. You cannot heal in an environment that has caused you hurt. 

2. Connection Humans heal through relationship and connection to others; isolation increases the impact of trauma. Examples of connection include: a friend you can trust; a supportive partner; a therapist or counselor; members of your community; a pet; and even a person who is healed in the future. 

3. Emotional awareness You need to learn to identify and accept your feelings (instead of hiding or denying them), including being aware of what emotions you are feeling, what triggers those emotions, how the feelings feel in your body, and allowing them to rise to consciousness without self-judgment. 

4. Self-compassion Your feelings of shame and self-criticism will keep trauma alive. Healing takes time and effort with gentleness, kindness, and understanding toward yourself. Examples of self-compassion include: talking kindly to yourself; challenging feelings of shame; allowing yourself to make mistakes; embracing imperfections in yourself and others. 

5. Agency and empowerment Trauma causes the loss of your sense of control over your life. Healing allows you to find that sense of control again. You begin to regain your power to take control of your own life by: setting personal boundaries; making choices; knowing your needs and wants; developing your confidence; and learning how to advocate for yourself.

7. Evidence-Based Approaches to Healing

Many different approaches can help with the effects of trauma. The best approach for any individual will depend on their circumstances.

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) - TF-CBT works by changing the way you think about your trauma, reducing anxiety, and helping you develop coping mechanisms. TF-CBT is particularly helpful for people suffering from childhood trauma.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) - EMDR is one of the most effective forms of trauma therapy. It assists your brain in breaking down and processing the emotional charge of a traumatic event.

Somatic Experiencing (SE) - SE is focused on the body rather than the mind. This approach utilizes body-oriented techniques to release the trauma energy stored within the body.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) - IFS works by helping you understand the different roles that your “parts” (e.g., protector, wounded, exile) play and assists them in communicating with each other.

Mindfulness-Based Trauma Therapy - Mindfulness-Based Trauma Therapy assists you in staying present, managing emotions, and calming your nervous system.

Psychodynamic Therapy - Psychodynamic Therapy works with the unconscious to identify the ways that childhood experiences have impacted how you view yourself and how you relate to others.

Group Therapy - Group Therapy is a great source of joining a community of individuals who are experiencing similar issues and working toward healing together.

There is no “right” way to deal with the effects of trauma; the best method of dealing with trauma is the one you feel the safest with and is effective for you.

8. Holistic and Somatic Healing Practices

Trauma recovery is more than mental trauma; it is emotional, physical, and spiritual recovery through holistic means of rebuilding safety and connecting to the body.

1. Breathwork

Slow, deep breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest), which calms anxiety and relieves tension.

2. Yoga and Stretching

Gentle yoga and stretching on a regular basis removes emotional trauma stored in the muscle tissue.

Yoga that is taught in a trauma-informed manner allows for more compassionate support.

3. Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques will help you feel present and connected.

Examples:

You may feel your feet on the ground beneath you.

You may hold a warm object.

You may notice five objects that you can see.

You can name the colors and textures that surround you; this will help you ground yourself in the present moment.

4. Journaling

Journaling provides a safe space for thoughts and feelings.

Journaling prompts:

"What am I feeling right now?"

"What did I need at this time that I didn't get?"

"What is one truth that I can believe today?"

5. Meditation and Mindfulness

Meditation will help calm your mind and increase your awareness.

6. Creative Expression

Art, music, dance, and writing all provide access to healing beyond words.

7. Nature Therapy

Spending time outdoors supports the regulation of the nervous system, as well as reducing stress hormones.

8. Physical Movement with a Trauma-Informed Approach

Walking, swimming, or participating in gentle movement will rebuild trust with your body.

9. Re-parenting yourself

Provide the comfort, guidance, and structure that you did not receive during your early development.

Examples of re-parenting include:

Validating your feelings.

Giving yourself time to rest.

Nourishing your body.

Speaking gently to yourself.

9. Rebuilding Identity After Trauma

Previously we discussed how trauma fractures identity, and in turn, it is easy to lose the sense of self that belonged to you before the trauma occurred. Part of the healing process involves recovering your true self after you have assimilated the experience of owning your trauma.

1- Realize Trauma Affects Your Identity

Effects of trauma include:

Disconnection from your previous identity

Doubt about your purpose

Lack of knowledge about your value system

Disconnection from your inner instincts

Each of these items above reflect a "normal" part of trauma's effect on a person.

2- Be Open to Who You Are After the Trauma

Questions To Explore:

"What do I find happiness in today?"

"What seems to be the "real me" today?"

"What value systems are of importance to me today?"

"What do I desire as my goals moving forward in life?"

3- Rewrite Your Life Story

You are not the person you were prior to this trauma.

You are a survivor of this experience.

Shift your perspective from:

"Why did this happen to me?"

"How does this experience influence who I am?"

To:

"I survived this experience and continue to heal from it."

"This experience will shape who I become, but it will never define my future."

4- Take Back Your Voice

Trauma will often render individuals voiceless or silenced.

As an act of healing, it is important to express yourself and to do the following:

Speak your truth

Set clear boundaries

Convey your opinions

Say "No" when it's required.

Express your needs

You must feel free to take up space in this world.

10. Trauma in Relationships: Attachment, Trust, and Boundaries

Relationships are frequently the most common areas to experience trauma and trauma healing.  

Attachment wounds 

If you were brought up without love or support consistently, you may experience:

fearful-avoidant attachment or anxious attachment

fear of being abandoned

problem with trusting

desire to be close to people but fear being close to them

putting people at bay

relying on being able to care for yourself

Your attachment wounds will take time to heal. 

You can heal your attachment wounds through:

patience

having mama-jean-type relationships with others

going to therapy

becoming self-aware of who you are and how you feel.

Trust 

Going through trauma will teach your brain that people are not safe. Building trust will require time and effort. 

Begin with the following:

people who demonstrate consistencies

taking small risks 

revealing to other people your fears 

measuring people's actions, not their words.

Boundaries 

The majority of people who survive trauma generally do one of two things:

Do not have boundaries (always wanting to please other people), or

Have very strict boundaries (a protective wall)

Healthy boundaries are flexible, respectful to you, and straightforward.

Some examples of what healing boundaries will sound like for you are:

I need time to think things through.

I do not feel comfortable with this kind of activity.

This topic does not work for me in my life.

I need time alone right now.

Having healthy boundaries is essential to your growth and recovery.

11. How to Support Someone Healing from Trauma

Being supportive to a person recovering from trauma is an act of compassion and patience. 

To be successful in your support of a trauma survivor you must first accept them for who they are and not what they are or where they have come from, but rather listen to what they have to say without judgement.

 Listening to and validating a person's experience can be extremely helpful in helping them move through the healing process. 

Sometimes people need to have their feelings and experiences validated without being made to feel belittled or dismissed. We will not always agree on how the survivor should heal, but we all agree healing takes time. 

No one should be forced to disclose what happened to them until they are ready to do so. When someone has experienced trauma, they have lost control; part of the healing process is restoring that control through making their own choices in their recovery. 

Finally, support your friend as he/she makes choices about his/her healthcare and offer encouragement for them to seek out therapists and counselors.

12. How to Know When You’re Healing

Healing can be a gradual and insidious process. One that everyday it feels small, however over time big changes start to appear.

Some of the most common things you will see are:

Less Reactivity

Increased Clarity

Healthier Boundaries

Fewer Triggers

Calmer Nervous Systems

Improved Relationships

Increased Self-Awareness

Easier Emotional Regulation

Increased Hope For The Future

Feeling Safe In Your Body Again

Although the memory is still there; The difference is in how the memory is now a part of you, instead of how the memory controlled you.

13. Final Thoughts: Choosing Yourself Again

One of the most challenging trials in a person's life is healing from trauma; however, it requires courage, patience, self-compassion, and a lot of support.

Each time you take even the smallest step forward toward healing, it is a victory.

Keep in mind...

* You are not the trauma.

* You are not broken.

* You are not the only one.

* You can heal; even when it appears to be at a snail's pace.

* You should have peace.

* You should feel safe.

* You should feel loved.

* You should recreate your life.

Although trauma is a chapter of your life, it does not determine how you will end up.

With the support of family and friends, with time, and through self-compassion, you will excel as a better, more confident, and more comfortable individual than ever before. You will become the person you were intended to be and not just the person you have been.